Validation

What a word, it has so many implications for me. Mostly recently it is something that I feel I have lacked when it comes to the illness I've been dealing with. I don't even really know that I can call it illness now that I am over the anemia and the worst of it all, but perhaps rather the ill health I am trying to overcome. It has been such a struggle, and to look at me you would not guess that I am having health issues. Thus the lack of validation. We are such a visual, appearances based society that we often don't take the time to look further than the surface. I'm sure on the surface I look 'fine', but it is not the surface I am having trouble with (well, there is the issue of the weight I've gained and can't lose as a side effect of the health issues). It is the fact that I just don't have the energy to do much. I am home now, on a full time basis for a while. My first day off of work I guess folding laundry and filling out recommendation forms (for my dance students) was overdoing it and so I paid for it for two days by not being able to do much more than lay around. I KNOW every one gets tired, but it is NOT THE SAME THING!!!! I have to remind myself that often when I am feeling guilty for not getting more done.
But I have received my validation at least from one quarter. I have had to file for unemployment and in doing so, they require that you accept any job, part time or full time. I cringe at the thought of working a full time job, I panic, I want to cry at the thought of having to work an 8 hour day....I just can't do it. So I asked my doctor if he would be willing to sign a release for me stating that I was not able to work more than a part time job and he agreed! VALIDATION!!! I am so very thankful, appreciative and validated.