Prayer

I have been mulling this one over for a while now, as I have most or all of the posts that will end up here, but I wanted to get this one out because our pastor just mentioned he'd be preaching on prayer this Sunday and I wanted to get what I've been thinking down before he further influences my thinking....be interesting to see any change of perspective.

I've been praying and praying lately to not have to work, to be able to stay home and just focus on what needs to be done here. It frustrates me to no end to look around my home and see what a mess it is and not have the energy to do anything about it. I also would love to be able to give more attention to my husband and daughters, but again, after working I just don't have the energy. So I've plotted, planned and prayed for finances to make it possible to just be home. So far it hasn't worked out that way, and I don't see it happening anywhere in the near future.

With the realization that I would need to continue to work if we want food, electricity etc to continue, I began to rethink what I was asking. When I am not ill, I am a high energy type person, I like to be busy, I like to be moving, going. Since I am working with a doctor to get better, the assumption is that, eventually, I will be back to that high energy person. With that in mind, I figure I would probably go crazy without a part time job of some sort. The biggest idea I realized is that it isn't normal for me to be so tired all the time, to not have the energy to do anything....it just didn't occur to me that once I get my energy back, I'll be able to work AND do things around the house without it being a big deal. I was watching a show the other day and one of the main characters walked in the door at home after work and went straight to cooking dinner for the family. My thought was, "people don't really do that, they have to rest a bit first". A few days later, Brian came home from work, went to the kitchen and started making dinner! What a revelation! It made me realize two things: 1) my energy has been low for a very long time...long enough to make me forget what it is like to make it through the day 2)I CAN work and pay attention to my home and family...just need to give it more time and be patient.

My prayers have changed since that! Now I pray to enjoy my job, and to be able to build my energy so I can do more at home. This brings me to the true "thoughts" for this post and that is prayer. I hear so often how prayers aren't answered, or it feels like they are bouncing off the ceiling or that God's presence can't be felt. My question to that is "WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?"

As for prayers not being answered, how quickly we forget that God does not have to say yes. Anyone who is a parent, sibling, friend knows that you have a choice when asked a favor, "yes" or....."no"! Why does God not have the same options? If His answer is "no", does that mean He has not answered? Should we always get what we ask for?

Personally, I've never felt like my prayers were "bouncing off the ceiling". I'm more the "do what I'm asking you!" type than the "why won't you listen?" type when I am struggling with God. Again, I feel it is up to us. God is here, with us "I will never leave you or forsake you". God's word is true and right, so there is no mistaking that He is ALWAYS with us. If we can't hear him, if we can't feel His presence, perhaps we should look at why we have distanced ourselves from Him rather than wonder why He has left us.

I've had my say, grace and peace to all who stop and listen :)
Jeanette